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HiRR Online Group Values & Guidelines


The following SIX values and SIX guidelines will ensure that our online groups are a safe place.

ROUTE 66 to the

HIGH ROAD OF RELATIONSHIPS:

HiRR SIX Group Values

1. Confidential

2. Safe

3. Educational

4. Honest

5. Respectful

6. Fun

HiRR  SIX Group Guidelines

Guideline One

Anonymity and confidentiality are mandatory expectations.

What is shared in the group stays in the group. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.

We are not to share information with our spouses/family/co-workers. This also means not discussing what is shared in the group among group members. This is called gossip. If you have a concern about someone address it directly to avoid speaking negatively behind backs.

Please be advised, if anyone threatens to hurt themselves or others, HiRR Facilitator has the responsibility to report it to protective services to ensure safety. (See Consent)

Guideline Two

Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings:

Not your spouse’s, someone you’re dating, or your family members’ hurts and hang-ups, but your own. Focusing on yourself will benefit your recovery as well as the ones around you. Stick to “I” or “me” statements, not “you” or “we” statements. Limit your sharing to 1-2 minutes, so everyone has an opportunity to share — and to ensure that one person does not dominate the group sharing.

Guideline Three

There is NO cross-talk.

Cross-talk is when two people engage in conversation excluding all others. Each person is free to express his or her feelings without interruptions. Cross-talk is also making distracting comments or questions while someone is sharing. This includes speaking to another member of the group while someone is sharing, or responding to what someone has shared during his or her time of sharing. When joining the group if not at start time, do so quietly and discreetly.

Guideline Four

We are here to support one another, not “fix” one another.

This keeps us focused on our own issues.


Try not to give advice or solve someone’s problem in our time of sharing most often people just want to be heard. By sharing our own stories, or the books or counselling or strategies that we have used ourselves leaves it up to the participants to include reading or outside counseling to their program when they’re ready. HiRR Hangouts for chatting after group is available for informal follow up from group but Tool Talks are for more formal learning through education and sharing.

 Guideline Five

Language Matters.

Be mindful of your language. Together we are learning to respect partners and relationships therefore derogatory language, chauvinistic attitudes, objectifying labels, and racist/homophobic remarks will be addressed.


Some language tips:


1.Refer to your partner by name where possible to avoid objectifying partners by referring to them as "my woman" or "the old lady/man" or "the baby daddy/mama".

2.Use curse words with discretion and appropriately. Swearing has it's place and can be used for humour and without disrespecting anyone but foul language directed towards another person is not permitted.

3.Avoid using the Lord’s name inappropriately.  We are not a Christian group but a HiRR we respect the spirituality of others.

4.Avoid graphic descriptions. If anyone feels uncomfortable with how explicitly a speaker is sharing regarding his/her behaviors, then you may indicate so by simply raising your hand. This is a kind quiet way of letting the speaker know so they can then respect your boundaries by being less specific in his/her descriptions. This will avoid potential triggers that could cause a person experience negative impacts, act out, or leave the group.

Guideline Six

Have fun and keep things as light as possible.

People learn best when they are having fun. Laughter is the best medicine. Of course relationship issues are tough stuff and heavy topics at times. But try to keep your sense of humour while still honouring the stories of others, so everyone can have some fun while we navigate tricky relationship stuff together. Lighten up! HiRR Tool Talks are NOT therapeutic groups to discuss deep rooted trauma from your past. Group might shine a light on this trauma for you, but use that as clue or indicator to explore further in individual counselling or therapy.

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